Saturday, August 29, 2009

WHO WINS "BEST PANTS?"

It's Saturday at the Barclay's and some fans want to know who has the lowest score - but there are a lot of us who want to know who's wearing the best outfit? Whose pants fit the best? Which golf shoes are cool and make you actually want to go buy some? Shirts? Well, after seeing whether or not you can see Phil's nips, what else makes you remember that golfer? Today, for example, Sergio looks great in his bright orange shirt and black pants. He might be a contestant for "Best Outfit." The almost-but-not-quite beard has got to go, though. Sergio is plenty handsome enough without trying to cover up that pretty face.

Of course, we all watch to see what Ian's wearing, and today would probably be a fun day to judge his sartorial selection, but it's rainy and he has on plain, black rain pants today, so cross your fingers for the sun to come out and the raingear to come off! And personally, I miss the Poulter hair sticking up, but I guess he didn't want to get his head wet today.

Now we all know that Tiger always looks sexy and athletic in his Nike duds. Today's blue shirt (and hasn't he pretty much decided that Saturday is blue day and Sunday is red?) looks great, but I personally think he could have chosen better pants. And did young Webb Simpson find out what Tiger was planning to wear today and copy at least his color scheme? Maybe hope it brings him the same confidence that Tiger has?

Now let's score some of the other players. Scoring is on a scale from 1 to 10 with 1 being "looks like your local insurance agent," and 10 being "Yum!"

Paul Goydos - Love that shirt! What color is that - persimmon? Apricot? It's darker than peach and it's on the pinkish side of orange. Very nice selection for today's weather and setting. Pants are so-so.

Zach Johnson - gets a 7 for pants; they fit his butt nicely and hang stylishly. Good color, too. But only get a 2 for the plain white shirt. And white shoes might not be the best selection for playing in the mud and rain.

Steve Marino - only gets a 4 for the khaki colored trousers - pretty ho-hum. I wonder if these guys ever even think about how they are going to look on television (except for Tiger). Marino's green shirt probably looks fine in the clubhouse but against those greens, it almost clashes. Green might be a color to stay away from when you're playing golf - unless you're playing in the desert.

I'm waiting to see Vijay. He always looks like he's wearing pants tailor-made for him in Hong Kong. They just flow over his body like chocolate over strawberries. They enhance that lazy, relaxed walk of his. You just can't help but wonder what underwear he has on - bet it's silk.

Webb Simpson might be wearing rain pants, too. Whatever they are, they make his butt look huge! These guys ought to watch themselves and see how they look to us. We're not necessarily watching their swing. And their moms should have told them "don't spit," and "don't say the 'f' word."

That's it for Saturday at Liberty National.